Friday, June 5, 2009

The right thing?

I am sitting here beating my head against the wall.  Around 12:30 I got a call from Lil Man's daycare.  He was screaming so loud in the background, I couldn't understand what the director was saying. 

By the time I went to pick him up, he was finished with his screaming fit, but I took him home.  He was screaming because he wanted to wake the other children so that he would have someone to play with.

I am not sure if we made the right decision by taking Lil Man into our home.  He has made great improvements since being placed with us.  He listens very well to me.  However daycare is a different situation

He pee's on the floor out of frustration

Spits on people

Tells me people to shut up

Screams at nap time, hoping to wake the other kids

Runs out of the classroom

Demands food

He pretty much rules the roost.

Would he be better off in a family with a Mother the stays at home?  When we were on vacation, he did really well, because he was with myself and my husband for 6 days 24/7.

I have sent in educational info to the teachers.  I have taken time off work, to show them how we deal with the negative behaviors.  I have talked and talked and talked to them.

He loves to go to "school", he enjoys painting, playing with his friends, and running around.  He doesn't enjoy sitting at the table, or taking a nap.  But hey we all have to do things we don’t like, that's apart of life.

He is never going to advance academically if he cant sit still for more than two seconds.

There are no daycare's for special needs children.  He attends one of the best daycare's in our town.  There are only five children in his class. 

He will return again Monday morning, and I will bit my tongue, and cringe each time my phone rings.

I am just trying to ride out the storm until the school year starts.  August cannot come fast enough.


  1. I am sorry that things are so rough for Lil Man at daycare! And rough for you! I know lots of foster parents have struggled with what to do with children who have so many school issues. The truth is, he does need to learn how to cope with school. But just like he had to learn to trust you (and your husband) to keep him safe, not reject him, and help him regulate his emotions and impulses - he has to learn it at school. Truly the only answer I have is time and consistency from the school.

    My only question is - why is he not recieving Early Intervention services? It seem to me with his diagnoses and behaviors - he would certainly qualify. Let me know if I can answer any questions!

  2. Early intervention is from birth-3yrs old. Lil man is four and will start special needs preschool in the fall. He gets ST, and OT services.

  3. I have been there. When we first got TTops, we were not informed that she was eligible for services for kids who are cognitively disabled and we had to use daycare. It was AWFUL. But stick with it. With us, what helped was we requested that their most strict staff person always be the one with her. The consistency made a HUGE difference. And she can't do naps either. They make her freak out. So we requested that she be allowed to do a quiet activity while the other kids napped so she read books or played an educational game alone. Not every kid can adapt so we need to adopt things for them.

  4. He spends most of the day in the classroom, but when he gets out of hand they take him to the diretor. They do not make him nap, infact they allow him to do/play with whatever, but he likes to scream, because he knows he gets a reaction, and knows it will wake the other kids.

    I have applied for a Dev, disabled wavior-if he qualifies we will recive some in home services. However becaues of his age, he is labled Dev. delayed, not disabled.

    If he was a few years older there are a few programs that could help.